It's been a while since I wrote here, but who cares..
It's not like someone dies if I don't.
Anyway, I'm annoyed at the DJ in my head..
It just suddenly starts to play songs. Songs that doesn't fit to the occasion. Songs that doesn't mean anything. And the worst part of it all; It's mostly children's songs.
Like today for example; Was boringsurfing the internet, when the "Oh tannenbaum"-song started to play in my head. And the lyrics weren't even right, but something with Erika..
Okay, this time it had to do with yesterday, since I created a playlist with all songs with the title Erika, lol..I get really "desperate" when bored..
(And yes, you're not the only one getting annoyed at my .. instead of ... or .
But that's just something you ahve to live with, I don't think I'll ever get over it, it's like my "trademark")
A real example then; Was walking home from school, it was sunny weather. My brain started to sing "Imse vimse spindel wow..." (Rockspindeln is the name of the song, according to Google)
It's a really annoying song that we're forced to sing in grade school. But why play it now?
Hmm..We did sing it in the movie where I had the mainpart. (Sis did a documentary of me, school work. Ugh, I had an awful style back then..)But it was ages ago since I saw it last time..
Guess brainwashing at an early age is really effective. When the Dj is mostly playing children's songs.
16.5.10
16.3.10
EU, EU, EU...
I have had enough of EU. I should do a 3-paged essay about EU but I have got no inspiration. Well, I still have one week to get it. I've been trying to work on it ever since I came home from school, which was over 4 hours ago. But I've only managed to write a few lines.
I did got inspired when watching EU's homepage, but not about the essay. Found two interesting competitions. One where you can win a camera and one where you can win pretty much money. The ideas are ready. Now I just have to find time to fulfil my ideas. I hate when you have a lot of great ideas but not enough time.
I will work with them, and the essay tomorrow. I've decided to take a day off. Since a cold is coming and we've a sports day then. And since I just don't feel like going to school.
Our class was on a lecture about EU today, or we were supposed to be on it, but over 90 % were absent= It was only me and my friend there. lol..
I have a bad habit, I draw on school papers. Not that it is bad actually, I've heard some people listen/ concentrate better while drawing, that's my case. But having drawings on every single schoolpaper is just annoying..
Anyway, this is how my EU papers look like:
The notebook is from today's lecture, the papers with a blue pen is my brainstormings for the competitions. Rest of them is just from ordinary lessons..*sigh*
I did got inspired when watching EU's homepage, but not about the essay. Found two interesting competitions. One where you can win a camera and one where you can win pretty much money. The ideas are ready. Now I just have to find time to fulfil my ideas. I hate when you have a lot of great ideas but not enough time.
I will work with them, and the essay tomorrow. I've decided to take a day off. Since a cold is coming and we've a sports day then. And since I just don't feel like going to school.
Our class was on a lecture about EU today, or we were supposed to be on it, but over 90 % were absent= It was only me and my friend there. lol..
I have a bad habit, I draw on school papers. Not that it is bad actually, I've heard some people listen/ concentrate better while drawing, that's my case. But having drawings on every single schoolpaper is just annoying..
Anyway, this is how my EU papers look like:
The notebook is from today's lecture, the papers with a blue pen is my brainstormings for the competitions. Rest of them is just from ordinary lessons..*sigh*
Mission Complete...
Äh, I should listen to my big sister more often, she said the chocolate strike is a stupid idea. Since chocolate makes you happy. Of course I managed to not eat chocolate. It wasn't hard after the first days/weeks. But it didn't helped my goal to lose some kilos.
Maybe I should try the "sniff a sock everytime you want sweets"-method to eat less. Or then I just don't think about it, I concentrate on other things than eating. Accordning to surveys you lose weight easier if you don't are losing weight/eating-obsessed. And I know that's true. But that's easier said than done. Since I enjoy eating.
Anyway, I've decided to change my blog a bit, put more photos since it's more interesting then, not that I write this blog because I want readers. if that was the case, I'd have stopped writing here a long time ago..
Realized I still haven't advertised this blog. Well, let's start linking then..
And a picture, the outcome of a chocolate strike:
Ate one toblerone thing a day. Ugh, I feel disgusting. Luckily I don't have anymore of them. I really shouldn't buy big packs of chocolate, since I can't stop once opening one..
Maybe I should try the "sniff a sock everytime you want sweets"-method to eat less. Or then I just don't think about it, I concentrate on other things than eating. Accordning to surveys you lose weight easier if you don't are losing weight/eating-obsessed. And I know that's true. But that's easier said than done. Since I enjoy eating.
Anyway, I've decided to change my blog a bit, put more photos since it's more interesting then, not that I write this blog because I want readers. if that was the case, I'd have stopped writing here a long time ago..
Realized I still haven't advertised this blog. Well, let's start linking then..
And a picture, the outcome of a chocolate strike:
Ate one toblerone thing a day. Ugh, I feel disgusting. Luckily I don't have anymore of them. I really shouldn't buy big packs of chocolate, since I can't stop once opening one..
13.3.10
Night of the 59th Day - 1 Hour Remain
One hour of my childhood left, sigh. I don't want to become adult just yet. I don't feel like I've completed the childhood level. Feels like my disc of life has been stucked one year. This year feels so last year. Nothing has changed.
Okay okay, of course there are things that have changed. For example I'm much happier than last year, since the reason of my depression is gone. But still, I don't feel happy. That doesn't mean I'm unhappy. I'm just not happy, but not not-happy enough to be unhappy.
Feels like I'm living in a world of grey. Only grey shades. I want colors in my life!
I'm the only one who can un-stuck my disc of life and stop everyday from feeling the same. I don't want to fastforward my disc like some people, I want it to play, play properly.
Why can't it be possible to rewind our lives? I'd like to rewind it, and play it another way. Hmm..but then we would't appreciate the life this much, since we could just press reset when we have fucked up live enough.
There's many things I'd like to do, some more stupid than others, but since I know it isn't possible to reset or rewind life I'm afraid of doing it.
Luckily there's something called dreaming, otherwise life sure would be boring. So I'll just have to train my brain to get more lucid dreams. Only bad thing about dreaming is that they aren't real, I hate waking up from a happy dream..
I hope the chocolate will be colorful. Otherwise this chocolate strike has been a total waist of time. Or not, my skin is much beautiful than before (Not that I'm 100 % sure it's because of the lack of chocolate, It could also be the new pills. They feel more effective than the last ones.)
Okay okay, of course there are things that have changed. For example I'm much happier than last year, since the reason of my depression is gone. But still, I don't feel happy. That doesn't mean I'm unhappy. I'm just not happy, but not not-happy enough to be unhappy.
Feels like I'm living in a world of grey. Only grey shades. I want colors in my life!
I'm the only one who can un-stuck my disc of life and stop everyday from feeling the same. I don't want to fastforward my disc like some people, I want it to play, play properly.
Why can't it be possible to rewind our lives? I'd like to rewind it, and play it another way. Hmm..but then we would't appreciate the life this much, since we could just press reset when we have fucked up live enough.
There's many things I'd like to do, some more stupid than others, but since I know it isn't possible to reset or rewind life I'm afraid of doing it.
Luckily there's something called dreaming, otherwise life sure would be boring. So I'll just have to train my brain to get more lucid dreams. Only bad thing about dreaming is that they aren't real, I hate waking up from a happy dream..
I hope the chocolate will be colorful. Otherwise this chocolate strike has been a total waist of time. Or not, my skin is much beautiful than before (Not that I'm 100 % sure it's because of the lack of chocolate, It could also be the new pills. They feel more effective than the last ones.)
3.3.10
Night of the 49th Day - 241 Hours Remain
Oh, it is already over a week since I wrote here last time. Well, only 10 days left, it will be a piece of cake, or many cakes..^^
what's new? Hmm..Nothing really. Or school started the day before yesterday. I had actually missed school; The loudy, and not so loudy, classmates, the goodlooking Finnish boys, the lessons, the strange-tasting vegetarian food ( since it still tastes better than the meat alternative), reading Helsingin Sanomat on the lunch-break, Playing DSi on the lessons and surfing on the white computers..
What I didn't miss was the bad air condition. Headaches here I come..
I'm starting to think that I've somekind of "good student" aura. For example, we had a teacher we've never had before this Monday. And I got the feeling that she looked at me the good student way, and treated me different, too. Or then it's just my imagination. I'm not that narcistic that I think they talk about me in the teacher's room. 'Cause there isn't much to talk about, really. If they would read my mind then maybe..
Never liked smalltalking. I mean, what's the point in talking about some uninteresting stuff like sport, your favorite cheese or whatever people smalltalk about. Maybe that's why I have hard to get to know new people. But I've noticed people like deep discussioning with me.
I wonder how my life would look like if we wouldn't got a Nintendo 64 that Christmas. At least I wouldn't write this. Would I be more social then? Would I have more friends? I've heard I was more talkative as a kid, I even sang on the stage for a big crowd, voluntary, I actually whined until I got to do it! Sounds so not like me. Maybe I would be a superstar now, touring with my band all around the world, hohoho..
I have no memory of that incident myself, my mother told me what I did. Hmm..What if that girl singing voluntary wasn't me, but someone else, maybe someone swapped us! Wonder what the real Erika is doing right now. Let's start the search for the real Erika!
But seriously, how would I have spend my time as a kid without N64, I'd probably play Mother-father-child with the other girls, or something else such boring. But then I wouldn't think it's such boring since I wouldn't compare it with playing awesome N64 games. And if I wouldn't have played N64, would I be interested in gaming now? Do you know anyone who's found the magic in gaming as a teenager or older? Nah, me neither..
I would have missed a lot of awesomeness if it wasn't for N64, so thank you Santa Claus!
what's new? Hmm..Nothing really. Or school started the day before yesterday. I had actually missed school; The loudy, and not so loudy, classmates, the goodlooking Finnish boys, the lessons, the strange-tasting vegetarian food ( since it still tastes better than the meat alternative), reading Helsingin Sanomat on the lunch-break, Playing DSi on the lessons and surfing on the white computers..
What I didn't miss was the bad air condition. Headaches here I come..
I'm starting to think that I've somekind of "good student" aura. For example, we had a teacher we've never had before this Monday. And I got the feeling that she looked at me the good student way, and treated me different, too. Or then it's just my imagination. I'm not that narcistic that I think they talk about me in the teacher's room. 'Cause there isn't much to talk about, really. If they would read my mind then maybe..
Never liked smalltalking. I mean, what's the point in talking about some uninteresting stuff like sport, your favorite cheese or whatever people smalltalk about. Maybe that's why I have hard to get to know new people. But I've noticed people like deep discussioning with me.
I wonder how my life would look like if we wouldn't got a Nintendo 64 that Christmas. At least I wouldn't write this. Would I be more social then? Would I have more friends? I've heard I was more talkative as a kid, I even sang on the stage for a big crowd, voluntary, I actually whined until I got to do it! Sounds so not like me. Maybe I would be a superstar now, touring with my band all around the world, hohoho..
I have no memory of that incident myself, my mother told me what I did. Hmm..What if that girl singing voluntary wasn't me, but someone else, maybe someone swapped us! Wonder what the real Erika is doing right now. Let's start the search for the real Erika!
But seriously, how would I have spend my time as a kid without N64, I'd probably play Mother-father-child with the other girls, or something else such boring. But then I wouldn't think it's such boring since I wouldn't compare it with playing awesome N64 games. And if I wouldn't have played N64, would I be interested in gaming now? Do you know anyone who's found the magic in gaming as a teenager or older? Nah, me neither..
I would have missed a lot of awesomeness if it wasn't for N64, so thank you Santa Claus!
20.2.10
Night of the 38th Day - 503 Hours Remain
I think I was a magpie in a former life (Not that I believe in reincarnation, but I want to believe..) or a hamster or whatever animal that collects junk.
Yeah, I get easily attached so I have it hard to let things go. And not only things. Having a hard time letting something go is normal, but when you have a hard time letting junk go..
In most cases I'm over 90 per cent sure I'll never need the item in question, but I still want to save it. Why?
Because I'm afraid to do something I'll regret? (Although I agree with the aphorism "Better to regret the things you've done, than the ones you didn't do"..But I'm a coward)
I do throw things away, otherwise I'd have drown in things already. And I know there's people in the world that has a much worse hamstering-problem than I do. (Wait, it's probably not hamstering in English, *look it up*, it's hoarding according to Google Translate). But it still annoys me, at the same time as it amuses me..
Having cosplay as a hobby has made me more hamster than before. For example, I'm saving extenders from my old bras. I feel like there's 2 people debating in my head:
1: We already have a corset for crossplaying..
2: But what if it brokes..
1: Then we buy a new one..
2: But that costs money, I saw hints from internet how you can sew one..
1: So you really think Erika is going to sew a new one! Hahaha!
2: *ignores*
Cleaned my room today and found a box, that I surprise surprise saved from being thrown away, that suits perfect for the junk I'm saving. So now I have almost everything in one place. Except for the clothes, most of them are outside in the small red house. 1/2 of the house is dedicated to junk, old stuff like toys and books, furniture and other things that doesn't fit inside. Yeah, I'm not the only collector/ hamster in this family..
I've saved some really good things from being thrown away. Like the classic Nokia 3310 phone, my cool red cd-player, some cool clothes, a beautiful, non-working video camera..
Maybe I'm one of those "It's better to save 1000 useless things than throw 1 useful thing away".
Hmm.."It's better to kiss 1000 frogs than miss the 1 prince". Nah, I don't think so..
What if I'm so busy kissing the frogs that I don't see my prince. Or what if I'm so busy waiting for a prince in shining armor that I don't notice the disguised prince right before my eyes..
Gaah, love is complicated. but then again, it wouldn't be fun if it was too easy, like this chocolate strike for example..But it shouldn't be too hard either, like the 8th remix level on Picopict or the final boss in Final Fantasy X or the giant spider-thingy in Fahrenheit (Whoever came upp with the idea that speedraping buttons is a good battle should be sentenced to death, and forgiven if he/she beats the final race with Canary Mary, bwahaha..)
Oh, according to a survey collectors usually live longer than noncollectors, so I'll keep collecting junk and non-junk, and being a great fan of Sunrise Avenue. Because being a huge fan of something also prolongs your time on earth, accordning to the same survey...
This was sure a long one, congratulations for reading everything! Or shame on you for skipping some lines..
Yeah, I get easily attached so I have it hard to let things go. And not only things. Having a hard time letting something go is normal, but when you have a hard time letting junk go..
In most cases I'm over 90 per cent sure I'll never need the item in question, but I still want to save it. Why?
Because I'm afraid to do something I'll regret? (Although I agree with the aphorism "Better to regret the things you've done, than the ones you didn't do"..But I'm a coward)
I do throw things away, otherwise I'd have drown in things already. And I know there's people in the world that has a much worse hamstering-problem than I do. (Wait, it's probably not hamstering in English, *look it up*, it's hoarding according to Google Translate). But it still annoys me, at the same time as it amuses me..
Having cosplay as a hobby has made me more hamster than before. For example, I'm saving extenders from my old bras. I feel like there's 2 people debating in my head:
1: We already have a corset for crossplaying..
2: But what if it brokes..
1: Then we buy a new one..
2: But that costs money, I saw hints from internet how you can sew one..
1: So you really think Erika is going to sew a new one! Hahaha!
2: *ignores*
Cleaned my room today and found a box, that I surprise surprise saved from being thrown away, that suits perfect for the junk I'm saving. So now I have almost everything in one place. Except for the clothes, most of them are outside in the small red house. 1/2 of the house is dedicated to junk, old stuff like toys and books, furniture and other things that doesn't fit inside. Yeah, I'm not the only collector/ hamster in this family..
I've saved some really good things from being thrown away. Like the classic Nokia 3310 phone, my cool red cd-player, some cool clothes, a beautiful, non-working video camera..
Maybe I'm one of those "It's better to save 1000 useless things than throw 1 useful thing away".
Hmm.."It's better to kiss 1000 frogs than miss the 1 prince". Nah, I don't think so..
What if I'm so busy kissing the frogs that I don't see my prince. Or what if I'm so busy waiting for a prince in shining armor that I don't notice the disguised prince right before my eyes..
Gaah, love is complicated. but then again, it wouldn't be fun if it was too easy, like this chocolate strike for example..But it shouldn't be too hard either, like the 8th remix level on Picopict or the final boss in Final Fantasy X or the giant spider-thingy in Fahrenheit (Whoever came upp with the idea that speedraping buttons is a good battle should be sentenced to death, and forgiven if he/she beats the final race with Canary Mary, bwahaha..)
Oh, according to a survey collectors usually live longer than noncollectors, so I'll keep collecting junk and non-junk, and being a great fan of Sunrise Avenue. Because being a huge fan of something also prolongs your time on earth, accordning to the same survey...
This was sure a long one, congratulations for reading everything! Or shame on you for skipping some lines..
13.2.10
Night of the 31th Day - 671 Hours Remain
I'm already halfway, wuhuu!
And I don't have withdrawal symptoms anymore, haven't had them in some weeks. I'm sure I'll manage, the worst part is already over (If it doesn't happen a miracle tomorrow so that I get extra yummy homemade chocolates from my secret admirer..).
I have got some chocolate these weeks. They are in a really safe place. In my mother's garderobe inside a plastic bag covered with Jesus tape to be more exact. And I also put some delicious-looking chocolate cookies, that my sister made, in the fridge..So I'll have a chocolate party when this thing is over..
I've noticed a change in my skin, it is cleaner now. In differ from the weight front, don't think I have lsot any weight 'cause of the cookie-surrogates. Hmm..Maybe I should replace the surrogates with healthier options, like carrots and kiwi fruits. Äh, but tomorrow I'll celebrate, with sweet buns with a lot of cream and calories. Carnival here I come!
I also think I've become lazier. Or maybe it's just because of the really cold weather..
Ah, I should eat something rusty tomorrow, then it would be the Carnival of Rust, hohoho..
Bedtime, I guess..
And I don't have withdrawal symptoms anymore, haven't had them in some weeks. I'm sure I'll manage, the worst part is already over (If it doesn't happen a miracle tomorrow so that I get extra yummy homemade chocolates from my secret admirer..).
I have got some chocolate these weeks. They are in a really safe place. In my mother's garderobe inside a plastic bag covered with Jesus tape to be more exact. And I also put some delicious-looking chocolate cookies, that my sister made, in the fridge..So I'll have a chocolate party when this thing is over..
I've noticed a change in my skin, it is cleaner now. In differ from the weight front, don't think I have lsot any weight 'cause of the cookie-surrogates. Hmm..Maybe I should replace the surrogates with healthier options, like carrots and kiwi fruits. Äh, but tomorrow I'll celebrate, with sweet buns with a lot of cream and calories. Carnival here I come!
I also think I've become lazier. Or maybe it's just because of the really cold weather..
Ah, I should eat something rusty tomorrow, then it would be the Carnival of Rust, hohoho..
Bedtime, I guess..
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